Relief flooded my body as I walked across the stage, shook hands with the commissioner, met Orlando Pride head coach Seb Hines for the first time, smiled for photos, and did interviews with the media. But in that moment, along with the tremendous excitement I felt to have been selected by the Orlando Pride, I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed too. I’d gone into the draft wanting to meet the new goals I’d already set for myself, goals that had been shaped by those who came before me, like fellow TCU alum Yazmeen Ryan, who now plays for Gotham FC. Yazmeen was like an older sister to me at TCU, an incredible mentor whose accomplishments inspired me to be the best version of myself, too. Yazmeen was drafted in the first round in 2021, and I’d made it my goal to do the same.
As the draft continued, my mom took me into the bathroom of the convention center and reminded me that being overlooked as a player was not new to me, or to the game in general. She helped me see through the shock of the moment that for all the motivation I’d always had to show everyone who I was, this was just an added push. I’m so thankful that she and my other family members were there to support me that night. I still had a job to do. I walked back into the ballroom and stayed until the draft ended, cheering on players like Riley Parker, who I grew up playing with and who’s practically a sister to me, and Mykiaa Minniss, with whom I share an agent. It was hard, but I’m so glad I stuck around to celebrate my fellow female athletes. You only get drafted once.
The next couple of weeks after draft night were a whirlwind. I’d been training in Frisco, Texas, with my best friend after college soccer ended, and even though I didn’t need to be in Orlando right away, I figured the earlier, the better. So many clubs passed me up on draft night, but Orlando didn’t. I wanted to show them how serious I was and how hard I was willing to work for our team.
Moving to Orlando marked the first time I’d ever lived outside of Texas. Sure, I’d traveled across the country for soccer, even internationally, but this was an entirely different beast. I won’t lie to you: the transition was rough. I missed hanging out with my family and eating my grandma’s cooking — and, I’m sorry, but Raising Cane’s simply does not taste the same outside of Texas, so I missed that, too! And as if my homesickness wasn’t enough, adjusting to the intensity of the NWSL erased all doubt that things had officially become real.
When I opened up to the veterans on the team about my disappointment at not having been drafted in the first round, they were quick to put things into perspective for me, reminding me that the order in which I was drafted ultimately didn’t matter. Sure, being a first round draft pick was nice and might have provided a mental cushion ahead of preseason, but the most important thing I could do was make my case on the field. Nothing was guaranteed until a club offered you a contract, which typically didn’t happen until after February preseason.
By then, I’d spoken to enough people to know how different the NWSL would feel from NCAA soccer. I knew the pace of play would be faster, and that players would be stronger and more aggressive — but it wasn’t until I experienced it firsthand that I fully understood.
One drill will always stand out in my mind from those preseason days. The training staff lined us up and had us go against each other, 1-v-1, over and over again for what felt like hours. I was prepared for the intensity (this was preseason, after all) but I walked away from it feeling proud of the way I showcased my ball-handling skills and speed. As a No. 9, I’ve ground out more 1-v-1 drills than I could ever count — and as an elite athlete, I know the feeling of leaving a lasting impression on the field. That day, I know I did both. I poured every ounce of passion I had into preseason, which called upon me to dig deep into myself and show just how much grit I had, all the while constantly holding close to the fact that my career would not be defined by a draft number, but by my own actions and relentless determination to succeed.
In March, I signed with the Pride, my first professional contract. You’d think that would have put to rest any uncertainty I’d felt up to that point about where my journey as a pro soccer player was headed, but sadly, that wasn’t the case. Deep down, I was struggling in ways I haven’t really opened up about until now, something that started during my final year of college and has continued in my rookie season.
Preseason with the Pride, in particular, was like trying to clear a hurdle few people could see except me. I called it a confidence barrier — think the soccer version of the “twisties” described by the gymnast Simone Biles when she experienced them during a vault routine and ultimately withdrew from the Olympics because of them. As elite athletes, we have a special relationship with our bodies, and when you know what your body can do but your mind won’t do it, it sucks. What I’ve learned is that in those moments when you feel disoriented or distant from yourself, it is so important to surround yourself with those who can remind you of who you are, what you’ve accomplished, and even of your potential.
Seb and Giles Barnes, one of our assistant coaches, didn’t waste any time with me. After I opened up to them about what I was dealing with, we scheduled regular bi-weekly meetings to check in. That alone helped tremendously; sometimes just talking through an issue with them helped me release it. And just in case I needed a visual aid to restore my confidence, the Pride video coordinator created a compilation of every goal I’d scored in my college career, plus a few from preseason with our club, and shared it with me so I could watch it whenever I needed a boost. (Even now, whenever I score a goal, he adds it to the reel.) And then there was the phone call with my dad, who knows me better than most and never hesitates to keep it real with me. It’s impossible to avoid judgment in this game, but I was a professional now, which meant that if I didn’t do my job as a forward and score goals, I opened myself up to even more pressure, possibly even ridicule. By then, he knew that something was off with me, and I’m so grateful to him for giving me that tough love pep talk. It was difficult to hear at the time, but that’s usually when I need to hear it most. ***

Match Highlights

Match Highlights